The idea for this post is a result of a sermon preached at DTS by one of the professors.

The setting of the battle narrative is Goliath as a representative of the Philistines on one side of the mountain and Israel on the other side of the mountain. Goliath continuously heaped insults against the army of Israel. He continuously defied the ranks of Israel. For fourty days, he taunted the armies of Israel. All of Israel was afraid and dismayed because of Goliath. No one dared to step up and battle Goliath as a representative for Israel. Who would dare to setup and fight Goliath? He was 9 feet and 9 inches. His physical stature alone would scare anyone off.

The author does something that is very atypical in a battle narrative. He gives a very detailed account of Goliath’s armor and weaponry. This passage is the longest description of military attire in the Old Testament. These things are unusually omitted in battle narratives. Goliath had five pieces of equipment: a bronze helmet, scale-armor which weighed 120lbs, bronze greaves, a bronze javelin, and a spear. And if that wasn’t enough he had a shield bearer going before him. No one wanted to challenge Goliath to a one on one combat until David appeared on the scene.

When David appeared on the scene in verse 26, David opened his mouth in the book of 1 Samuel to speak for the first time. I’m sure he spoke before this, but the author is trying to do something by recording this particular speech as his first speech in this midst of this battle narrative.

Where as everyone was concerned about the battle situation, they were dismayed and greatly afraid. David, when he opened his mouth to speak, was concerned about God’s glory. David says, “For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should taunt the army of the living God” (v. 26).  He was not concerned about Goliath, he was not concerned about the situation before him. He was concerned about God’s glory.

David in accepting the challenge to fight against Goliath was defending God’s glory because God was fighting for him. David declares, “For the battle is the Lord’s and He will give you into my hands”, speaking of Goliath.

It is with this understanding that the author puts in the little description of Saul putting a bronze helmet and armor on David, and equipping him with a sword (verse 38). For Saul, in order to achieve victory in the battle he has to match equipment with equipment. Goliath has a bronze helmet so David must have a bronze helmet. Goliath has armor so David must have an armor. Goliath has a javelin (curved sword) so David must have a sword. For Saul victory is in what man can bring into battle. It is trusting in one’s own strength, ability, and resources. It is man achieving victory apart from God. Saul’s ideology is the one who is most prepared and most equipped will win the battle. Sometimes, if not all the times that’s our ideology. Do you fall into and practice Saul’s ideology?  

The author records for us that David could not go into battle with Saul’s equipment. Instead he went into battle with a sling and five smooth stones. Why five and not ten or twenty? Maybe what the author is trying to do is highlight for us Goliath’s five pieces of equipment to David’s five pieces.

Count them. Goliath has: bronze helmet, scale-armor, bronze greaves, javelin, and a spear. Count them. David has: five smooth stones. Goliath’s five pieces of equipment were man made and fashioned over time. David’s five pieces were divinely made and smoothed by the water over time. One commentator commenting on this says,”It is divine enablement over human devices.” When the Lord fights for us there is no need to try to secure victory by other means.

When David actually entered into battle he says, “You come to me with a sword, a spear, and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands” (v. 45). David acknowledges and knows what he is up against. David would be too foolish to go up against the well-armed and well-equipped Goliath with just a sling and five smooth stones. David didn’t say, “I come to you today with a sling and five smooth stones.” Instead he says, “I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel.” David realizes his greatest military resource in battle is God. May I say that our greatest resource in the Christian life is the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel?

The theology of the Old Testament and the New Testament is always those who achieve victory are those who depend upon the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 puts it this way, “Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.^”

Zechariah 4:5 puts it this way, “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts (Zec. 4:6). There is no such thing as victory in the Christian life except when the Lord fights for us.

David was concerned about God’s glory. Knowing that God fights for him, he fights for God. How do we remind ourselves that God fights for us so we should fight for him?

Pick an area in your Christian that you’re struggling with: For some it might be gossip. For others might be pornography or maybe lust. An unloving heart toward your brothers and sisters in Christ. We all struggle with something. Once you think of that one area, every time you’re about to sin in that area, remind yourself that God fights for you in that area so fight for God.

Here is a living example of God fighting for me so I will fight for Him/with Him: http://www.iamsecond.com/seconds/josh-hamilton/

in His grace,

-dien

For most of my life, I viewed the Church as an incidental detail to the core doctrines of Christianity. What I mean by that is that the Church was of secondary importance to me; it was an accessory to my personal relationship with Jesus. I thought I could be a good Christian without caring too much about the Church. Later on, when I got plugged into a fellowship, the Church became the place where I could hang out with my friends.

Lately, I’ve realized that my attitude towards the Church does not reflect a Biblical understanding of what it really is. For example, take Ephesians. Ephesians has a high Christology–a high view of who Christ is and what He does. Consider the following:

Each of these verses certainly deserves its own exegesis, which I am not qualified to make, but the point seems to be that the Church isn’t only a gathering of believing individuals. It is a corporate entity, the manifestation of the new humanity that is Christ. Finally (and perhaps most easily overlooked) the Church has a cosmic significance as a part of God’s plan for the redemption of Creation. As one commentary puts it, the “very existence” of the Church demonstrates God’s wisdom to heavenly powers, and the local church is a “visible, concrete expression” of the new relationship believers have with Christ.

Thus, Ephesians suggests a link between Christology and Ecclesiology. A high view of Christ leads to a high view of the Church, his Body. But perhaps I find church uninteresting, unfulfilling, irrelevant, burdensome…is it because my view of Jesus is too small? Do I see him merely as a “personal” savior who meets my own individual needs rather than the One in whom all things are being reconciled, things in heaven and things on earth? It makes sense that our views and attitudes towards the Church would be influenced by our views and attitudes towards Christ, for without Him there is no Church. Now, I don’t claim to know the exact relationship between Christology and Ecclesiology, but this much seems clear: If we love Jesus we will also love his Church.

I suppose books could be written about the relationship between Christology and Ecclesiology, but I’ll conclude this post with one practical reflection. If what Ephesians says about Christ and the Church is true, then my relationship with the local church should not be an incidental detail or an accessory to my life; rather, I ought to see my relationship with the local church as intimately connected to my relationship with Christ. You might think that this reflection leaves you hanging as to what that actually means and how it actually plays out. I agree that it is quite open-ended, but I think the way to find the answer is to begin loving the Church now.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

-Ephesians 3:20-21

So in my last post, I posted some thoughts about New Year resolutions and how they are often manifested because of our dissatisfaction or lack of contentment with the way things are in our lives.  I moved on to talk about Gospel Contentment and how Paul is able to have such an incredible peace amidst the hardships that he was facing during his imprisonment.  What Paul shares to his beloved friends in Philippi is that he has learned to find this incredible contentment/peace in Christ through the depth of his understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and how it is only through the Gospel that he can say with such confidence “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).

So why do we have a Part 2 to this True Contentment topic then, Helicon?  I could totally have stopped at the end of last week’s post and ended this train of thought but I believe that God has helped me see some new wisdom and insight on the topic recently.   There were times when it was not so easy to be filled with joy or fixated or at peace with Christ, but it was in those times that I continued to pray and ask God to show me more reasons why this understanding is so important and how much further it continues to go into my foundations and faith.

Here’s why this contentment stuff is so important… like me, you WILL face times when you will encounter hardships /discouragements /trials/suffering /loss/heartbreak/loneliness!  The question is… how will you respond in those times?  Will you become so distraught that you are unable to function?  Will you start to panic and perhaps even go as far as to blame God for what happens?  Maybe you won’t panic as much, but inside you are deeply shaken to the core of the foundations of your faith and this may become the catalyst to a growing distance from God in your daily life.  You may even be rebellious due to your frustration and lack of seeing God’s activeness.

The reality is we face these dilemmas and they are a part of our lives that we cannot ignore.  Rather than facing these times, we often rather hide these struggles as we try to put on a brave or courageous face for the rest of the world to see.  What happens is we ignore these thoughts until they are upon us and then we have to struggle even more so because we are ill-prepared to face the reality of our lives.  This denial or willful blindness only makes the journey longer and the hole deeper; rather than finding ourselves to God, we feel further and more ashamed than before.  To ignore these dilemmas then would be a huge blind spot in our soul, and a place where we will be missing God’s grace and refinement (God’s there, but our blindness leads us unaware or unwilling to listen to him in those areas).

Paul grasps this hope/eschatological confidence in the Gospel… and as a result, he not only has a deep peace in the truth of the Gospel, but in the promise of the Gospel.  What is the reason we can trust God so much in the present when things look so screwed up? I think that we can have such confidence in the present because of a confidence in the fulfillment of the promise in the future.  The promise of that hope and the belief that it will be fulfilled drives our confidence in the present… and though this may seem so elementary, we can easily gloss over it in our own hearts.  The truth is that this is a very powerful ingredient to Paul’s confidence in the Gospel.  He believes what Jesus Christ has said and that God will redeem it all in the future; he has no doubt about this and this is what strengthens him in the present.  We remember the past and what Christ has accomplished, but we anticipate the future for its fulfillment.

Too often, I think our understanding of the Gospel is stuck only in the present… and rather than seeing God’s powerful work transcending time, we can only see it from the singular (even narrow) perspective of the present.  We are so easily shaken because we can only see things within the present context and never consider the Sovereignty of God & His control that transcends time.  We may consider the past and we may consider the future, but what we must remember is that God is not bound by the boundaries of time.  God sees/defines/authors the complete big picture!  I think that it’s in seeing the promise of God (with an understanding of the future) that gives Paul this unwavering 100% confidence.  He doesn’t just understand this… he KNOWS this with all of his being to be true.  This is a real faithfulness and trust in God’s promises!

This is definitely something I feel that we have to desire and constantly pray for because it is so easily forgotten.  How often has that dreaded feeling of doubt and discouragement come creeping in during a bout or season of trial or hardship?  This is why preaching the Gospel to ourselves has such an essential role to our faith and its healthiness.  It is this constant radical reorientation back towards Christ; it is that recalibration that cannot afford to be off even by a teensy bit in our lives.  We need to be focused because even the smallest incorrect focus over the distance of our lives will end up far off the target of our relationship with Jesus Christ.  This constant vigilant correction is necessary and perhaps why we are compared to sheep: who are so easily distracted and strayed.

So as I share today, do we constantly see this future promise and it’s completeness in the Gospel?  Do we see and place our confidence in these promises and earnestly desire to see these things from this mindset?  It is perhaps when you are able to do these things that you can say with as much confidence as Paul the following words: “… for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:11b-13).

What do you place your confidence in when things get tough?  Do you place it in the promises that Christ will return and things will be made right?  How often do you reflect on the Gospel and preach it to yourself?  Do you believe and long for the future fulfillment of God’s promise and see it as a definite or a possibility?  This my friends will be something you wrestle with your entire life… it is a journey that you will constantly encounter such moments, and the question then is: will you continue to remember to preach the Gospel to yourself, and cling to Christ?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  I hope you were able to spend some quality fun time with friends and family. In light of this transition, I am wondering if you would take time to reflect on the previous year?

For me, I often spend some time reflecting on the previous year during the Holiday season.  I usually think of things I’ve done, and what I hope to see change in the new year; I set them aside as things to give to God in prayer.  I don’t set resolutions personally, but I know many folks that do set resolutions.  I find myself often at the gym, and the one thing we all know is that at the beginning of the new year, many folks set resolutions to work out and to lose weight (I need to do this as well).  The thing is…over the span of the next 1-3 months, many of these folks end up stopping or not showing up at all after a few sessions.  There are many reasons for this, but today I am not going to address that side of resolution setting.  Rather than talking about the outcome of resolutions, I want to talk about the reasons which we are motivated to set resolutions in the 1st place.

I think the primary reason we set resolutions is because there are ultimately certain elements/aspects of our lives that we are deeply unsatisfied with.  Whether with our own body image, the hardships of our lives, unanswered prayers, unhappy employment situations, broken relationships, or suffering from a difficult season, we set resolutions because we are not content or happy with our lives in one of these areas.  This dissatisfaction becomes a place of brokenness, shame and often is what leads to unhealthy choices or paths towards even more struggles and pain.  I was recently reflecting on the text of Phil. 4 and considering Paul’s words from verses 11 through 13.

11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

What gives Paul such unerring confidence and peace in the midst of his imprisonment and suffering to be able to trust God?  How can that peace or confidence or contentment or joy be found in Paul’s life… and more so how can we come to have that as well?

I think that as I thought about this, I realized that Paul is so at peace and so tremendously able to find confidence in God in the midst of his hardship because his understanding of God’s Gospel is so rich; it is a truth and a reality in his life and the source of his confidence.  It is this confidence in the Gospel that gives Paul his strength, and is often I think where we may fail in our own lives that leads us to be so easily discouraged or shaken when we encounter stormy weather of trials and hardships.

According to Gordon Fee, he points out that to the Philippians, who were Greek trained… they would have understood Paul’s words here (Phil. 4:11-13) as a nod towards stoicism.  Basically this “stoicism” is the seeking of an inner peace to help face the external pressures of life; it is this self-sufficiency, complete self-adequateness,  where a person needs no assistance.  This is also where we get the word “stoic” from… which is when a person can endure pain/hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.

This is so true and can be found in our lives even today especially while considering the reasons why we often set resolutions.  We believe that the Gospel gives us some sort of means or tools to overcome situations and be tough and confident in God in the midst of pain, suffering, loss, hardship, struggle, job loss, death of a loved one, etc.  The truth is this: this is NOT the Gospel and is not about a dependency on God, but a reliance upon self.  The Gospel is not a tool in which we use at our discretion; it is the entirety of our perspective of life.  When you fixate upon this strengthening to resist the buffeting of storms with your own power… I think this is more related to what is culturally acceptable and what is often taught in our lives today… whether thru self-help books or thru what is taught via media.  The Philippians were facing life with this stoicism just like we often do, and what Paul is stating here is a contrasting view to the stoic way of thinking.

The Gospel that Paul finds such peace and trust in is a far cry from the “tool” mindset of facing life with stoicism or with a Gospel tool.  The Gospel is so much more!  In this passage, the stoic way of thinking or the way may lead us to think is that we are to somehow avoid or transcend the circumstances by our own will power or strength.  But what Paul points out here is that rather than avoiding or circumventing the circumstances of our hardship… it is to live in the midst of it!  Our lives are still affected by our circumstances… but rather than moved left and right, we cling to Christ in the midst of it!  This sufficiency is not finite nor is it limited, but it is infinite and unlimited.

Consider Phil. 4:13… “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”  More often than not this is used wrongly by people to talk about how we are to overcome and do amazing things by God (aka Dwight Howard on his sticker for slam dunk contest a few years back).  I confess that I was of the same camp in thinking this way, but what Paul says here is NOT about new/crazier things, but how he has learned to live in the midst of these things through Christ.  Martin Luther’s words then are so poignant as I consider Paul’s words: “The Gospel cannot be preached and heard enough, for it cannot be grasped well enough.” 

Rather than setting a new year’s resolution and applying a temporary fix of discipline to your life, apply a change that requires the entirety of your life (all of your mental, physical, emotional, AND spiritual focus).  This kind of application is what Paul has discovered in coming to understand the Gospel.  The question we must consider then is what is the Gospel to you and I? Is the Gospel simply a tool to be used at certain moments, or is it the rhythm/melody/theme to which you base your entire life and mindset on?  Change happens not temporarily but infuses Paul’s soul and life.  The reason Paul is able to face the hardships of life is because the Gospel is the central foundation of his life; Christ strengthens Him because His promises are true and are a reality in every perception of Paul’s life.  Too often people have seen the Gospel as a message that speaks to a person up to the moment of their salvation.  They think that once you hear the news, there you go… you are in! But what Paul is saying is … the reason I can live how I live is because I have come to see the Gospel in everything I do.  “I can truly do all things in Christ who strengthens me.”

How often are you seeing the Gospel as the reality in which you live your life?  Has the Gospel changed everything in your life?  If not, then today, I challenge you to try out an experiment with me.  Rather than setting a temporary new year’s resolution, let’s apply this Gospel mindset into an area of your life, and reflect about how Christ’s life, death, and resurrection speaks to that part of your life.  Let the sovereignty of God, Christ’s victory over sin, and the Spirit’s powerful working in your life speak to that area of your life.  Feel free to email me personally (helicon.kuan@livingstonescc.com), and I would be glad to journey with you in this experiment; I’ll practice the same exercise with you!

None of us chose to be born. It just kind of happened. Similarly none of us chooses to die. In fact, many of us would choose to live forever if given the choice.

This Christmas be reminded of Jesus, the only person who chose both to be born and to die. And not only that, but He rose from dead in victory over sin. And He did it for you and I.

But who is He and why did He choose these things? Whether this is a first time introduction or if this sounds like something you have already heard, I encourage you to read on.

Who is Jesus?
The Son of God who saves us from the penalty of our sins and restores our relationship with God the Father.

What did He do?
God chose to send his Son Jesus to live a sinless life among man and to die for us. In Matthew 18:11 Jesus says that, “the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.” God’s love for His people is further elaborated on in the verses that follow immediately after that statement: “What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying? If it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish.” The apostle Paul in his letter to Timothy says that “It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.”

Why did He die?
So that our sins may be forgiven. If we pause to think about it, we are all sinful. And our sin demands payment, one we could not pay on our own. But God sent Jesus to die for us so that our sins may be forgiven, what we know as grace. Romans 5:6-8 reminds us that, “while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly…God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” He chose to be born and to die so that you and I would know Him, be made whole in Him, and make Him known. He is, according to Hebrews 12:2, “the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” If you have placed your faith in Christ, Romans 5:1-5 says that we have been “justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

While we may have spent the past week worrying about what to get others or felt a bit down thinking about what others have that we do not have, let’s not forget that the greatest gift to man came to earth to live and to die for you and I.

Joy to world, the Lord has come. Let earth receive Her King.

As you look forward to 2012, focus on Jesus, “the author and perfecter of faith“ and “let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”

Merry Christmas and happy new year,

Bryan

Here’s what you can expect:

1. Consistency in posting: four of us have committed to weekly updates on this site. during months that have 5 weeks we will be featuring a guest post from a friend of ours.
2. Gospel-centered writing: the contributors to this blog include an undergraduate college student, two full-time seminary students, and a full-time employee at a biotech company. Colossians 1:6 says that the gospel is, “constantly bearing fruit and increasing” in us since the day we heard and understood the grace of God in truth. Regardless of our social context, we seek to understand and share how the gospel shapes every aspect of our lives.
3. Access to all of the posts from the past: nothing has been lost. In fact we encourage to browse the archives. You can find these categorized as “The Early Years“. Thanks to everyone who contributed between 2009-2011.  I know that I was encouraged through your writings and I’m sure many others were as well.

Come back on Christmas day and join us as we kick off a new chapter. Between now and then, we’re sure that you are still working through your Christmas shopping list. As has been the tradition in years past, we encourage you to freely give as we have received this Christmas season and to consider organizations like WorldVision in your Christmas giving.

But as they say, all good things come to an end. in the case of this blog, this is not the end. it is an opportunity to refocus the purpose of it. Some have gone on to use other social networking tools to share what God is teaching them, and for that we are thankful. Just as the early church in Acts sent faithful believers out, we rejoice as we see more and more faith-based blogs populate our Facebook news feeds.

So what is next? Over the next few weeks we’ll be praying over what the focus of this blog will be, and we plan to come back with a clear vision for its future. To our subscribers and readers, thanks for your readership. We’ve been encouraged by God’s faithfulness which we’ve been able to share with you on this blog. We hope you have been encouraged and challenged too. Stay tuned.

Living by faith is hard. Faithfulness means accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior. Hence, it means obeying Him. We cannot say “No” to someone we acknowledge as “Lord.” But saying “Yes” to Jesus is never easy, because it means we must first say “No” to ourselves. We are making ourselves vulnerable to God’s will.

Perhaps we experience this struggle to varying degrees in life, but in Matthew 26, in the place called Gethsemane, Jesus faces a test of faithfulness beyond anything we can ever imagine, because in this moment, everything is at stake. Jesus knows that he is about to be “delivered up to be crucified” (Matt 26:2). He understands that his blood is “poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matt 26:28). Not only that, he knows that he is going to be resurrected (Matt 16:21). Nevertheless, Jesus’ soul is “very sorrowful, even to death” (Matt 26:38). Jesus understands his mission, but he also feels the gravity of the suffering he is about to endure.

Many of us know we can trust God. It is easy for us to say that we will submit ourselves to his will. But knowing that God is faithful does not prevent us from fearing that He will fail if we put our trust in Him. No matter how many times God has proven Himself in the past, we can’t help but wonder, “What if God doesn’t pull through this time”? That’s the scary thought. Jesus knows why he is going to be crucified, and he knows that the result will be, but with the reality of death staring him in the face, he falls on his face and prays, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matt 26:39a).

Praise be to God, we know that this is not the end of the story. “Nevertheless,” continues Jesus, “not as I will, but as you will” (Matt 26:39b). He submits to God. We shouldn’t dismiss this, thinking that it is easy for Jesus to obey since, after all, he is God. “The spirit indeed is willing,” says Jesus, “but the flesh is weak” (Matt 26:41). This is a hard thing for Jesus to do. It doesn’t seem that Jesus is speaking here of weakness due to sin; rather, he is simply referring to human weakness, the fact that even when we want to follow God, we just don’t know if we can handle it. We want to trust him, but what if it costs us our lives?

The truth is, the flesh is weak. Jesus went to the cross. He was bruised, crushed, and pierced. He was shamed in public, in front of his disciples, in front of his mother. He bled. He suffered. He died. This is real weakness.

But he was also resurrected on the third day, and not in spirit only. For we believe in a bodily resurrection; Jesus is alive in the flesh. Therein lies our hope. For those of us who are in Christ, we believe that if we die with him, we will also be raised up with him. And we will die, because the glory of following God is a burden too great for mortal flesh to bear. Being faithful as Christ is faithful means that we also take up our crosses and follow him–to death, yes, but even more so to the resurrection, to the new life.

Therefore, we can trust, follow, and obey God despite our fears and uncertainties. And even when it seems that God has forsaken us, as Jesus felt forsaken on the cross, we know that this is not the end of the story. True, it is hard to live by faith. It is hard to say “No” to ourselves and “Yes” to God. But our faith will not be disappointed. For by raising Jesus (and us with Him), God has proven Himself to be faithful and righteous and true, once for all.

And then, I’ll stumble. I’ll find myself falling back into petty sins. Normally, this serves to remind me that I’m not perfect. No big deal; nobody’s perfect. Lately, though, these mistakes have pointed me to a real problem in my soul, which is this: The whole attitude of being satisfied in my relationship with God is completely backwards.

What I’ve come to realize is that I don’t really love God, despite what I tell myself and others. Being complacent and self-satisfied shows that I don’t really love Him. If everything I’ve done up till now is what it means to love God–if I’m comfortable with where I am–then my love for Him really isn’t that impressive. In fact, it’s pathetic. God deserves a devotion that isn’t satisfied with anything less than Him. Having a true desire for God means that I should never think that I know what it means to love Him; it means that I should never think that I’ve grasped the fullness of who He is. A love that’s too easily satisfied is a love that’s too small for God.

And so, I’m forced to admit the shallowness of my desire for God. My cries for repentance are feeble, my heart is hard, my soul is dry. I think the only thing that can redeem my weakness is the power of Christ. In Christ and in him alone, I have what I lack in myself. Lancelot Andrewes, one of the original translators of the KJV, once wrote the following in one of his prayers: “At least give me some of the tears of Christ, which He shed plentifully in the days of His flesh. Bestow on me from that store; in Him there is superfluity for my deficiency.” Lancelot Andrewes recognizes his deficiency, but his response is not to make himself better; rather, he turns to Christ and falls more deeply in love with Him.

This all goes back to being complacent and self-satisfied vs. being deeply in love with God. A love that constantly reflects upon itself isn’t love at all. Being satisfied with my “relationship with God” means that I’m looking at my own performance; consequently, it means that I am looking at myself and not Christ. True love for God shouldn’t think about itself, because it is too busy thinking about Christ. To love Christ is to look to Him and Him alone–not to anyone else, not even myself.

It is a question that I find impossible to answer.

I could talk about how my experience this time differed from past trips; but this trip isn’t about me.

I could talk about how God was faithful to provide for our every need; but this trip isn’t strictly about the team.

I could talk about the kids who accepted Christ. Yes, that seems to strike closer to the heart of things. But how do I talk about those who were saved without also talking about who they are? Beyond saying x number of people received Christ, what can I do except tell their story? And to tell their story…where does one even begin?

Thus, for the time being, I’ve decided to refrain from talking about the specifics of the trip. Instead, I will offer the general reflections I’ve had as a result of these past two weeks.

During the trip, I read through several of the minor prophets. A major theme that cuts through most (all?) of them is the promised restoration of suffering Israel. But restoration to what? Restoration in order that God’s holiness and righteousness might be vindicated among the nations:

“It shall come to pass in the latter days that the mountain of the house of the Lord shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be lifted up above the hills; and all the nations shall flow to it, and many peoples shall come, and say: ‘Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.’ For out of Zion shall go the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.” – Isaiah 2:2-3.

“Then the nations that are left all around you shall know that I am the LORD, I have rebuilt the ruined places and replanted that which was desolate. I am the LORD; I have spoken, and I will do it.” – Ezekiel 36:36

“Then the nations will know that I am the LORD who sanctifies Israel, when my sanctuary is in their midst forevermore.” – Ezekiel 37:28

“So I will show my greatness and my holiness and make myself known in the eyes of many nations. Then they will know that I am the LORD.” – Ezekiel 38:23

“For at that time I will change the speech of the peoples to a pure speech, that all of them may call upon the name of the LORD and serve him with one accord.” – Zephaniah 3:9

“Many peoples and strong nations shall come to seek the LORD of hosts in Jerusalem and to entreat the favor of the LORD” – Zechariah 8:22

These passages and many like them all talk about God’s promise to restore Israel and draw all the nations to Himself. That is His plan for the world. The crazy thing is that in 2 Corinthians 1:20, Paul writes, “For all the promises of God find their Yes in him [Jesus].” That means that we are really living in the thick of things. For Jesus Messiah is the faithful Israelite; He is the recipient of God’s promise (see Gal 3:16). He is the one who suffered and died; He is the one whom God restored (resurrected). It is in Him that we are justified before God and our sins forgiven. It is in Him that the nations see the glory, “glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). And He is the guarantee, the assurance that God is faithful to carry out His Word to the very end.

The 15 or so students who received Christ during this trip are the first-fruits of a nation that God is drawing to Himself through Jesus Messiah. God is fulfilling His promise to a nation, to the entire world, and all of us are in the midst of it. We, everyone, are all caught up in the action. This is the big picture, the meta-narrative of what missions is all about.

For most of my life, I’ve subconsciously ignored the significance of missions. To me, it was something we’re supposed to do because Jesus said so in the Great Commission. Or we’re supposed to do it because we love people or we love Jesus, or something like that. I thought of missions as another thing to tack onto my Christian to-do list. During this trip, God humbled me in that respect, showing me that missions is about the great story of what He is doing. The bigger story is what God is doing in the world; the smaller story (far smaller) is what God is doing in me. If I think of missions as the cool summer project that God is doing in the life of Tim Ip, then in my mind, I’ve diminished it into a secondary issue, whereas I’ve made myself the primary issue.

But if missions is really the meta-narrative of what God is doing, then I ought to structure my life around missions, to find my place within the story. Not vice-versa. I should not be structuring missions around my agenda and desires. Once again, God is asserting His supremacy over and against what I’ve made my life about (namely, myself).

At the end of the day, to make our lives about missions (whether at home or abroad) is to live and breath the Gospel. This is not because of anything we do, but because missions, by its very nature, is participation in the work of God, and what is the Gospel except the good news of God’s saving work? In this sense, we didn’t bring the Gospel to a foreign land; rather, the Gospel brought us deeper into a place where God is working.

So, I apologize. In a way, I’ve told you nothing of what the trip was about. I left out many particulars; I didn’t even say where we went.* Maybe one day, I will find the words to do justice to what actually happened during these past two weeks. As of now, my best answer to the question “How was it?” is “It was good.” Horrible answer, I know, and I’m sorry.

In another way, though, I’ve tried, to the best of my ability, to tell you what the trip was actually about. I can’t say that it’s the most accurate retelling, or even that other members of the team will agree with me. All I can say is that God (once again) came crashing into the world like a wrecking ball, and this is what remains. This is what has moved me to make my life about missions.

As a final request, please pray for kids who received Christ, for their continued growth in Him, and for His guidance and protection in their lives.

Adieu.

*Part of this is intentional, since we were in a country that isn’t friendly to the Gospel. Given that the Internet is a place where anyone can find anything, I decided to leave out as many details as possible.